The first quality that comes to mind when discussing an excellent coach isn't always gratitude. Think of saying, "She's the finest coach—so she's immensely appreciative." Sounds strange, huh? I'm going to argue that purposefully including appreciation into your coaching may be quite beneficial. Then I'll discuss some really simple strategies to begin doing that.
We all (hopefully) strive to express gratitude every day. We thank whoever is holding the door for us. Perhaps we express to a loved one how much we value their presence in our lives. We are the total of the thanks we continuously express to the world; neither are we naturally thankful nor ungrateful.
Gratitude cultivates virtuous cycles, which are the antithesis of vicious cycles. When you express thanks to others, positive things come back to you. Your emotional condition will improve as a result of this appreciation exchange. A pleasant emotional state has several advantages, including improving relationships and making you more open to learning. In other words, it may greatly improve anything you do.
So how do you practise thankfulness outside your regular thank-you and please rituals? Here are some recommendations:
1. Using "thank you for" instead of "I'm sorry"
I have to give credit to my coworker Sherri Fisher for this one, since she patiently showed me how to make it over the past year. There are so many minor instances where we apologize when expressions of thanks would be more appropriate.
Consider arriving late to a meeting. You forced the door open.
I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE.
What do you believe the other meeting attendees are feeling at that same moment? Perhaps some of them are irritated. Even if you offered a sincere apology, you are still the focus of the statement. Instead, try this:
I appreciate you being patient as you waited for me.
You've now shown thankfulness to other people and recognized a good quality in them, as opposed to making it all about you. Although many instances still call for an apology, expressions of thankfulness may often fill in the blanks.
2. Tell them what you appreciate about them.
Give a modest expression of thanks to each individual you come into contact with when you arrive at the pool today.
I'm aware that the first skill I picked up as a coach was problem-diagnosis. I could tell what required fixing and what was incorrect. On the other hand, I had a tendency to take what was correct and what people were already doing well for granted.
But being aware of your strengths might be challenging. Most people, particularly young ones, are prone to self-doubt and fault-finding. Telling them anything you appreciate about them might help them discover their strengths.
3. Bring appreciation into uncomfortable circumstances
Do you ever experience tension that spirals out of control? Embrace thankfulness to change direction. It's tough being by myself with my three-year-old kid while my wife is away for a few weeks. I make an effort to be a good parent and keep it out of my head, but the pressure mounts.
My daughter was pushing my limits last night when it came to sleeping. It wasn't helping that I was quite irritated. I chose to express thanks rather than shout. I told her the straightforward truth while looking her in the eye:
I cherish the time we get to share together every day.
My eye began to tear up, and I immediately felt less worried. She didn't speak to me, but stared at me and hugged me. She closed her eyes after five minutes.